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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!* J! P7 N. d# H! U  q$ T
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
; o8 }, G9 @; z* Y( R1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫$ j  e# e5 L1 n5 n1 O9 e
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
$ T6 P8 I* P" `/ d2 hdown.
) A2 l+ c4 c- z% q" x+ Y& wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
2 c. i# ]7 i) t9 _& U. vyou, U! i* ]# K# ?, A$ M
leaving it down.2 ?: [1 X8 x) ~
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?9 E' d; G8 s& ]$ |; z  z, x
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.- A' ~" s, L+ B! q! f
Let it be.6 @3 s  H* o" B' x* k
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it& B) K) u( j! S, B
that way./ Y3 d; P, s3 {2 {6 y) B5 W
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!$ S  z' D& i9 ^

& L  u8 F1 N9 E( {1. Crying is blackmail.
% H" y! c" W$ @8 m1,哭泣是敲诈0 E: }) ^0 d8 W: |7 h5 r

3 |5 \1 Z6 t  |1. Ask for what you want.1 K# r, W, H6 t0 ^8 R! u
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
$ c- y9 `# i8 |1 ]7 B1 z, \Strong hints do not work!+ O5 x4 H% r* c. Q9 m# l
Obvious hints do not work!
5 b: q5 Z; {7 w% _" J/ x( l7 Y" M9 yJust say it!* K& k/ u; C9 B- S0 I
1,你想要什么就说8 ~$ e+ \9 R0 L1 p
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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. E/ L  j7 k( ^) d- _1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
0 r* a" X1 M. r* R* b# _question.
# Z; G1 l. H8 U! {' G& l1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意), R; h: f2 Y8 ]+ a+ t1 q- T+ n
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
. e" J. r; y( f& b! \' h- g: Ywhat we do.8 j7 J. a6 |) W6 f
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
) ^0 {3 E. ~; ^  {4 G- f- `! n1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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4 }6 m# P4 T0 Y' X9 w. j1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.$ y- m# Y7 u! |2 O1 Z- s$ Z8 R' f
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
6 s, U5 t7 {. P8 R6 k- T! LIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
6 X! n, L( [! }' ]3 [我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了+ S0 N* Q' w5 {$ I

& z/ l1 X4 [" W' a1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
+ ?. ]4 l* s( v* F$ Eto act like soap opera guys.8 W+ q5 o3 a6 ]- L: h
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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  U2 ^$ `: E  e3 ?" _. ^. K0 h6 Q1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
( E3 T4 d0 w6 W) n1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
; f$ _' I% m6 D* _0 X& nmakes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.: s* G- J4 Y, U9 V
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。3 _- z; z  |5 g4 k
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
6 k, o. a+ N. D) p8 B7 v1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it6 K/ {$ I" H/ r% z2 P- F
done. Not both.
2 r! p0 P4 T0 k' L* z3 nIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.4 a, u/ v* I/ `/ C) T% i
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
5 ^) H% t' ~: X: U; r2 ~% z& ecommercials.: O0 u2 l; G% A( U( H0 G( v& m0 L
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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. l/ q9 r3 m" w5 r% ~; u+ I1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.+ x8 k+ Y7 `. x$ i! O0 W! S
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.% {5 ?! D8 e8 ~9 j# l
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.: W- S1 W2 M2 e1 U0 `- e

9 x3 v$ C: W1 m; W4 e/ N9 ]4 [" x1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
/ Q$ o' I% R, Jnothing's wrong.
; b8 \& b" z; E' aWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer$ B6 ^0 Y3 q  j& i
you don't want to hear.
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4 j& U& N' m. j  Q8 S' L2 E( X, i1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
2 I) f% {: y' E( V" Lfine...Really.
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0 e1 _0 i' J. }. G; U1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to3 J  i# K( G) z" r- M8 e# N( ~6 @
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.2 N7 P# h* h8 _% j, p9 f! l7 f

6 r8 t  b/ x3 q3 J1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!( \  E4 a9 @$ U0 k& }+ y2 j1 V
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1. Thank you for reading this.6 _8 }  E6 |" H: v
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
2 z* Z5 T; n: Z1 kBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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4 G- I+ N3 K) m( R# E; v! Z# E( \Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 Q' x" B6 \* y1 n! T- U" X. K5 fPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。* c! _4 O& k# j, f: K

% _5 R  q; Y- [: z: G4 g1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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! `  E' `9 m6 b+ Y# A1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
# @  V+ |( R# S& p' n+ l我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
7 V* X, \+ W, x3 s所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。+ a1 C1 W3 @1 J! J$ c+ W

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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.4 L: b2 t! @7 z2 t
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。2 X5 c- @+ t$ Y) D5 J, }! S
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# o5 z4 c' `9 G* l$ \! T4 T  V$ |1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  _9 I, R4 T' U+ R如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。- s4 ~) l- n0 L
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.& w7 ?) X( I  E5 _8 R: o
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:+ l0 d9 t/ G3 o1 X- m4 ~2 t( X
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
! D0 N$ A- q, ~' v; t1 D所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。' _; y4 B8 x) a
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
- G8 i: [7 ~$ L如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你% m1 o* x: ~; u. f
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
* V  N3 Y8 N# I+ [4 w不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
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0 v1 W5 r# K( M& g1 l1. You have enough clothes.
3 w# A) |! D( j( p/ }' V3 v你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
3 F  _0 O& l7 l- E0 ^你的鞋子也太多了吧
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; s/ j" Z& ^7 @: a1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!# {5 ^' a$ s. M# K: U
我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?
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: ~% L1 N; ^6 _3 O3 ^+ P1. Thank you for reading this.# n2 T8 F2 m( B' {  y+ O7 P/ G' O
多谢你能看完这个9 u- N0 T  P; C. @; }8 [

. x4 N8 x- L  g2 V3 dYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
" h; y* U7 A: D1 |* \" M我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:' C/ Z+ M& u0 B  g9 i# _$ V- E
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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: M* i. T! O; C, z( {' Z. B( Q还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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& q* X! r6 ?& ^2 }* O# o应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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* }' }5 e# c) P6 L玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
% ~$ }, m' a$ M( a1. You have enough clothes.$ f/ ?# i, Q6 ]  e2 o# q& L
你的衣服足够多了" F9 @7 J: d4 ~+ e; J+ H5 _
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1. You have too many shoes.
5 e2 b5 k9 @) ^  _0 p* Q" Q你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.$ T; T9 _, d; B& C& v8 H" p
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!. @/ U+ {  Q# C
Strong hints do not work!
& C6 t! U. G1 O' N6 S7 t7 [  VObvious hints do not work!- x. n, h' i! b: w* O
Just say it!
3 t  C3 z0 L. b- l- g/ G- s1,你想要什么就说# }& ]. U' j% W- }
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!5 }2 J1 ]7 W* @

  N: k: b1 P" s关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:, Z7 U! \7 t, m( A
1. Ask for what you want.
0 `5 w5 E: x( P1 l9 I3 bLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
2 V" z, Q) ]# b" j0 h  k8 EStrong hints do not work!6 U- {0 l0 t( P% F
Obvious hints do not work!( j' g6 m; E# S- R% J6 m( S
Just say it!
/ Z6 A5 g2 a* j- @' y4 o1,你想要什么就说8 Q! j4 E5 K0 q
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:0 Z) V- ]- X& Q. D8 ~
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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  V2 s" s8 h" w1 {; I4 @咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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. q( E/ A+ E! Z9 T+ E咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿9 Z. j( N9 q; `0 m5 f
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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- R& o+ d3 c1 Y# n. S+ b这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。( s+ I* S$ j. p2 X7 ~
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还想问问你的体会呢!

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/ U$ e; ^* M7 ^! ^. b& ^8 G体会?+ ^( \3 T8 q( M: w
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