 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!+ V( a3 U1 r: k) W9 F. H6 w* j; S
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写2 U9 L" }& ? y0 [( S; N$ x9 I
4 C7 s. P: e [1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
4 [# m" q( W$ v$ B3 i1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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( M8 g2 Q5 U4 p! `9 R) T, X1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it4 s- v4 y; B2 n* B8 R) r7 x
down.
$ c. _/ C) c% c @. S3 u& |' ?" bWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
6 n5 k) k; P. q( [$ G1 ^5 Oyou) o3 c3 i/ W# N! _7 I
leaving it down.7 X" m% S- o8 m$ D9 l4 W F/ M. I
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
; ^) } r, u: P3 L" f4 Y( u2 OLet it be.
e: o5 c! t7 j- x1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去7 P& w9 z" z# C/ V6 U+ p1 Z
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
' \& C' o4 }. x. f7 j0 P/ ]that way.
' K* d U1 p z+ r/ u2 Y1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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* w" ]6 r! p0 i* [% V4 t3 m1. Crying is blackmail.( o1 q t# R! s3 K$ C8 r$ x
1,哭泣是敲诈* o* o9 I1 E1 X) c" R
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1. Ask for what you want.( S V) E6 e$ L# }
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!; o K$ N/ r- G. F6 k/ B( A2 n( l
Strong hints do not work!+ w* k0 E$ d& Z/ w# I: ~1 D3 g
Obvious hints do not work!. \0 U6 R+ c) l7 l
Just say it!
- ]5 J( e5 L( k/ M% h6 T& F1,你想要什么就说$ e8 G9 y0 T! V' R; O
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!: B5 X' T! x+ t3 l3 p
# e. I w1 G6 Q3 ~ d; \ z1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
% S* h" t' G' j( ?5 oquestion.! i# r# t- [+ u. ^4 @3 L( x
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
5 [+ x4 q: v4 H: jwhat we do.
% Z8 j4 _9 W( ]8 \% x$ }1 rSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
' e2 \6 ~3 R k& t1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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( @* R- f% C' y ]1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
+ l; A: l' e+ } S1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去1 Q) F; ~8 H+ _& H7 W# N5 L
& D' P* W1 j% @1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument." i8 B# }* T" U. }5 J
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.# @9 U) M x1 ~
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
7 {5 f u( @' m& z' [3 q, Zto act like soap opera guys.3 F; w v6 E) { {
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们+ ^( B3 } K/ b9 z3 |$ a- c) A
4 _$ Q @* h1 @, K1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.) n: H) s. }$ t. q0 Y% V
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们3 w+ ?& G+ J' M0 C; _: `' C& b
7 u0 ?1 v. ?0 x$ G: U/ Q( `6 d1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways F0 \( y3 S- [# T5 y0 M! ^
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.% |4 h( \7 y0 w+ \
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。3 O9 Q. S3 E7 x5 l
; n6 o! H+ @+ ]" Y' @& _. Y# Q(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)- O6 a: t- c, ]' B
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
) B" R" H9 k2 q$ u! k. X. B9 M) Gdone. Not both." b, a. D$ W) p+ D' j# M4 b9 S
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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7 a) b2 }2 t( Y P6 N) ?1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
- y- K. z1 k6 B! W! }. i) Bcommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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" G# S8 e, y0 W4 {+ s ?: k; W1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
! P( c# Y9 U) KPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
: O0 T# j- P( X& {) i. j/ x8 X" tWe have no idea what mauve is.- A' P7 r( W/ ]2 M
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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9 l" _, _9 _. D5 U0 x/ Q4 q1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like) w! k& Z0 w/ v# t
nothing's wrong.: z# u- |% e) W$ {7 @5 a! q
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.* b1 T1 U; Q: N- n
5 A# @' J; r# u9 ]' a, N1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
- A2 D9 o# Q. myou don't want to hear.
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! R6 Q1 S3 L( u& R1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
j$ y* q3 R$ n! e! jfine...Really.8 t5 Q4 V$ m9 K d3 a: t+ Q
) V* G3 G7 i6 r; a) [: \1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to K6 a* v2 j; u* ^' k
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.. J9 k9 q! r' u% G
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1. You have enough clothes.
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. k: m. o' V3 Q: q' M+ }1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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2 \0 g) i6 h/ p1. Thank you for reading this.$ C1 O# s2 [1 O$ D* K( }; F! F
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;6 P4 I+ K+ H5 Y8 l" A/ N
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
0 h3 u6 W/ ~* n8 P$ O$ H4 [) @2 pPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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