 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
' ]! ?. H9 n: v" H请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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5 o5 s" W4 R: [2 O' c1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
8 g O1 h: S7 U' g+ s# s- x1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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5 ?' B1 k0 O* `1 ~1 R; T# [/ D1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it2 x) X$ n3 v7 E. s
down.
$ Y3 P, w. ]% ^. A$ h! j: i- ?We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about % {" t( I" t7 p- f' e
you
7 H2 W1 I9 j0 R! _$ kleaving it down.* R5 A% I7 N' _( `& v% O P, B
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.9 F1 I5 Y' X0 V3 u7 E
Let it be.5 Z3 [5 v! C1 G5 ^% d
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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0 r; N: S. R; X1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
: w0 t! ]/ K+ v! sthat way.5 F3 a+ t! r! o- C# F) N. [
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!8 D+ v9 z1 g7 K7 z* ]
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1. Crying is blackmail.% p U4 J- y) m
1,哭泣是敲诈
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; ~' L2 D5 ]4 ]3 p. W/ l, L1. Ask for what you want.) \) f0 |* A4 s/ }/ N, E& ^ N
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( ~* @$ E. w. o3 z& y
Strong hints do not work!3 ^' k3 ^: _' ?& |
Obvious hints do not work!
, i$ @ H% M3 v4 HJust say it!
4 X' M2 A3 d1 s/ q+ ?9 W1,你想要什么就说7 Z% j$ v) Q1 i0 p; q
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
0 h* T ?2 A$ Iquestion.& |6 S) E% P( {- Y# u1 ^1 n. a+ w0 J7 o
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)8 B3 a+ r5 D: w" G' I8 [
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
1 [& M6 g8 _9 ~6 x- \2 Bwhat we do.
# @, ~+ }8 v/ b5 \/ E$ ESympathy is what your girlfriends are for.0 L5 o8 U/ e/ S
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。5 d4 z& h: W" h+ I3 ?7 w
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.3 h3 Z6 h1 |8 D$ e3 Y, Q% G, j
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去4 R- }+ [. t2 J R3 t
8 K+ Q0 I- }. R( d* Y8 ]1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
8 y6 Y# w5 B5 x' m4 o9 \" L- yIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
?' b E8 |" k$ q% s2 u我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了9 \% ~5 K& b. e
4 W4 b' q* L$ f4 d1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us6 [+ e6 X+ O) e7 U% v
to act like soap opera guys.
4 R: v& j% `& \- v9 l1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们4 ]1 u/ E F! b0 K
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.) ^# z- S+ e5 Z1 }8 Y4 I
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们6 y+ M% t2 f1 H/ r! }9 @ _
O( ]; u" q8 H) D+ i1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways4 n) s8 S$ a. J, {5 c K; u' C
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
, r& N, ~8 e; b6 X3 D1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。/ C. E6 \% c& r
5 y: t- L+ y& A8 l0 f(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
! N" K5 _5 n2 O% ]1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it/ b+ T! T4 j3 Y) `3 Q2 ]
done. Not both.
* W- }/ c1 U/ ^' ^; a, |If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself./ F1 g; o( @2 ?8 f/ Y, f
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
, k' K- |9 Q3 |commercials.
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1 g, D `9 J* G* l k1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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V1 v5 K9 k) y. A9 l1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.4 w7 X* F% m7 z
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.: ?* W S5 d: j" e/ D
We have no idea what mauve is.
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% r6 J( v2 C# V& \( m3 l7 u1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that., Z& q- d' } I3 N$ h* {
4 ], ?6 @8 Z, y5 U4 W0 c6 o4 T: S1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like$ D: H6 f* Q1 C3 i+ c
nothing's wrong.
$ ^. d6 o: V' q; s, @7 k9 \3 o# mWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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/ E2 W0 @( {! W( G t$ C6 x9 ^8 l1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
. r6 c% Z5 E2 N% kyou don't want to hear.
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2 A4 d1 w$ L9 ~5 t8 X* t% i1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
1 m: N5 @" B- Ifine...Really.( t+ G# L$ j4 q4 G Z$ v. k7 P7 U
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to2 l1 ^8 z& z2 [! ~2 E
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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- p# ]- k( A3 Z! ~1. You have enough clothes.3 f; Q1 L$ x G! W! M* H
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1. You have too many shoes.
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. ^8 H4 g3 X" z" E/ w1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!/ j e1 z6 ~9 ?) Y Q
$ o; L% [0 A* x( c8 |$ B" S. x8 f1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;8 P4 H P; o. E% W/ T
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping., Q3 A& J' ]- y* K
6 M3 x. o: f; v7 ]# rPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
# ]' ?- @: b8 ^# u6 APass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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