 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!* J! P7 N. d# H! U q$ T
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
& U! H p: B% j- j9 i) e3 O* s* l6 P7 v/ ^* r9 G
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
; o8 }, G9 @; z* Y( R1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫$ j e# e5 L1 n5 n1 O9 e
' A6 G& Q$ f& i4 v; g0 S8 z
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
$ T6 P8 I* P" `/ d2 hdown.
) A2 l+ c4 c- z% q" x+ Y& wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
2 c. i# ]7 i) t9 _& U. vyou, U! i* ]# K# ?, A$ M
leaving it down.2 ?: [1 X8 x) ~
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?9 E' d; G8 s& ]$ |; z z, x
, q3 [4 H3 A+ V" x; h+ O$ Z [6 @
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.- A' ~" s, L+ B! q! f
Let it be.6 @3 s H* o" B' x* k
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
, `' i" N2 t/ Q B7 z; c" R2 E6 H5 n/ P6 l$ a4 o
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it& B) K) u( j! S, B
that way./ Y3 d; P, s3 {2 {6 y) B5 W
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!$ S z' D& i9 ^
& L u8 F1 N9 E( {1. Crying is blackmail.
% H" y! c" W$ @8 m1,哭泣是敲诈0 E: }) ^0 d8 W: |7 h5 r
3 |5 \1 Z6 t |1. Ask for what you want.1 K# r, W, H6 t0 ^8 R! u
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
$ c- y9 `# i8 |1 ]7 B1 z, \Strong hints do not work!+ O5 x4 H% r* c. Q9 m# l
Obvious hints do not work!
5 b: q5 Z; {7 w% _" J/ x( l7 Y" M9 yJust say it!* K& k/ u; C9 B- S0 I
1,你想要什么就说8 ~$ e+ \9 R0 L1 p
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
/ ?. ? R1 \9 O6 K
. E/ L j7 k( ^) d- _1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
0 r* a" X1 M. r* R* b# _question.
# Z; G1 l. H8 U! {' G& l1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意), R; h: f2 Y8 ]+ a+ t1 q- T+ n
! ]) v( n5 y% g* p5 w1 Q
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
. e" J. r; y( f& b! \' h- g: Ywhat we do.8 j7 J. a6 |) W6 f
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
) ^0 {3 E. ~; ^ {4 G- f- `! n1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
0 L" A1 j$ Z: E" x4 J d
4 }6 m# P4 T0 Y' X9 w. j1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.$ y- m# Y7 u! |2 O1 Z- s$ Z8 R' f
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
3 m; n+ n3 B F: d m1 l, _1 t; q8 ^8 v- E; D
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
6 s, U5 t7 {. P8 R6 k- T! LIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
6 X! n, L( [! }' ]3 [我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了+ S0 N* Q' w5 {$ I
& z/ l1 X4 [" W' a1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
+ ?. ]4 l* s( v* F$ Eto act like soap opera guys.8 W+ q5 o3 a6 ]- L: h
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
, B5 m' u, T! b( k/ u
U2 ^$ `: E e3 ?" _. ^. K0 h6 Q1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
( E3 T4 d0 w6 W) n1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
! A! [- H$ t( [' y9 d" v) L: R+ E; o. [" v; U4 z
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
; f$ _' I% m6 D* _0 X& nmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.: s* G- J4 Y, U9 V
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。3 _- z; z |5 g4 k
+ I1 i7 e: ^' s9 I4 F/ H
(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
6 k, o. a+ N. D) p8 B7 v1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it6 K/ {$ I" H/ r% z2 P- F
done. Not both.
2 r! p0 P4 T0 k' L* z3 nIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.4 a, u/ v* I/ `/ C) T% i
% X2 H2 F, A% e
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
5 ^) H% t' ~: X: U; r2 ~% z& ecommercials.: O0 u2 l; G% A( U( H0 G( v& m0 L
& G* ? Y8 K0 L# n9 u
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
* W0 H F! U( K
. l/ q9 r3 m" w5 r% ~; u+ I1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.+ x8 k+ Y7 `. x$ i! O0 W! S
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.% {5 ?! D8 e8 ~9 j# l
We have no idea what mauve is.
n* A! ~& ` i% c) e+ v; o; B2 q3 U0 _
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.: W- S1 W2 M2 e1 U0 `- e
9 x3 v$ C: W1 m; W4 e/ N9 ]4 [" x1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
/ Q$ o' I% R, Jnothing's wrong.
; b8 \& b" z; E' aWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
2 J t8 u3 K6 }, x% y' ]* Z9 V% D" z6 ^$ S
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer$ B6 ^0 Y3 q j& i
you don't want to hear.
+ X) k6 m) B/ \5 {
4 j& U& N' m. j Q8 S' L2 E( X, i1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
2 I) f% {: y' E( V" Lfine...Really.
9 f) O4 P/ |9 H& h, L5 m. E7 j' S
0 e1 _0 i' J. }. G; U1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to3 J i# K( G) z" r- M8 e# N( ~6 @
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
8 X1 Y" ?# r5 w8 {" N) ~/ f& ]: `: w; X1 ]$ E$ w S
1. You have enough clothes.2 N7 P# h* h8 _% j, p9 f! l7 f
6 r8 t b/ x3 q3 J1. You have too many shoes.
! V% h. e* g2 t' Z1 A8 V, Q M! x) D" b# R: L6 Z
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!( \ E4 a9 @$ U0 k& }+ y2 j1 V
" J3 t, p9 @% I6 e4 L/ G5 H
1. Thank you for reading this.6 _8 } E6 |" H: v
& p) }" U0 L( F% j
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
2 z* Z5 T; n: Z1 kBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
# e# \2 H1 C5 w+ e% ], L: w w
4 G- I+ N3 K) m( R# E; v! Z# E( \Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 Q' x" B6 \* y1 n! T- U" X. K5 fPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|