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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew
2 v; Y3 @0 k5 vhis wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he5 s' B% ?, [" n& @3 U3 y  A  ?
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he
* G# o4 B: }1 h/ U- S: Ybrowsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
6 \5 S: ?% \/ R" jif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,$ K, I0 O, w* U0 A6 \  o' f
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
) {6 ?8 `$ K% C# t6 Z6 A3 Y! bexcept... ahhh... never mind."; \" n+ |* C4 x5 x: z1 W$ ]

' d/ Z2 z9 A, g' I% y8 e) _+ Q    "Except what?" the man asked.
/ G% I3 w, N7 B4 s: o    "Nothing, nothing."' L% S+ z: I2 @, B# a, H
    "C'mon, tell me!"+ o) ]6 [1 B+ |0 U
    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
+ x% E1 W: `6 a    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.* w* s& t* N% P
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."$ ]% C& Q6 F9 _/ y( K) ^  J  o
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, & j9 k) `' ?8 I1 k! ?* f1 O; E
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
3 z1 o; M' \" v0 Yordinary-looking black dildo.: i+ L3 Y4 s7 o3 ~
    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"- Z* Y/ O( t' g
7 D& w; `$ n+ R, u. Z  q
    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old: B- G3 X; x; G! {' i
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
9 |$ l9 M7 U" @7 v' n  ] VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started5 D; ~1 M  V7 D- _! ^
screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
, u6 W( r) s$ f* s9 B8 ?" Edeveloped down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,* v) A& b- M- J$ c0 g8 m
"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to
" [( D/ T1 n/ o& \. [the box and lay there, quiet once again.
/ @$ Z/ p. g+ j/ E7 L; t+ h
6 ?$ {: ]* C  [) z% @: e/ [+ R/ p* N& ~4 U    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it8 `! f( q$ D6 ?2 O+ G5 L8 g
wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took
2 `) \- z% W% ~" y0 ~4 c8 H+ d  fit home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all ! H. W; O. E: i' W* ~, S9 O7 y
she had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip6 {- g/ w( ~& d7 [# R' ~
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.
) n( q- k9 L. C' D" K4 V7 y9 o3 Z( F6 }# ?) y. D4 I( X" H# Z
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She6 Q: [- E, P; s% U& Z
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
! y" V9 K$ l) s" g" M3 t1 S  Xremembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,
. {+ z0 v& ^/ i# v"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was
  ^. S# p# T4 r. j- @% ^5 Igreat, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
6 P! t0 s5 `8 j/ R7 P' }/ j4 G2 Udecided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her
$ A3 `% R$ p. M' Q$ Yhusband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!# r  F3 M8 c9 E* i5 _5 `6 {
. m: D9 J, a0 ?/ I3 P9 [, Z8 R
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried5 x+ Z1 A6 O$ J/ e1 u' e. T  P& A
to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick
5 @5 |" l  O5 G( Fjust wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.
0 L( K2 ~3 @  a$ D
* c# E) b" w5 x, N# _    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive
" i. `4 A9 f" p4 ?0 Ato the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming
  i% _; h. C" z. T4 ~; q) {traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next
6 F" j0 \* {- v2 m0 G2 q! I6 wthing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights7 L( Z" s4 B1 ^- r# T9 L
flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
; J3 _$ d9 [* h' }, h& Z6 Emuch she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she% g. u. |) w( T2 @  k- z
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.  R# f1 ~& A6 t) I, ?; T

4 B- _4 H/ H  f; F5 C! n9 q( h    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right! `, K9 Z1 a$ z7 N
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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