In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
+ N* [: L# b6 E: N- {! L! {2 F
In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee
% V4 t# Q( Y6 R" C8 ]
5 F& J5 S- f% f2 t: bIn the memory of my life
$ ~) S6 c5 q% [0 gYou planted a dream
6 s4 U5 P8 D0 w  K( p4 b# cShould the sky fall down on me
( g, P8 ]& p, R5 F! d5 oMay promises fade in the sea
! v3 `, Z7 ?6 D/ o. y: KSewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
5 x5 O# A0 r2 Y0 |  p, Y
: N% y- b- r1 ^/ E[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
! r2 G5 F! T+ `/ B& [) E听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
. T' X& U1 ?9 Q6 B& a7 u1 n) @
4 j' w# @7 E, g+ }9 @  Q- rIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
* _! |% J# x3 e/ y1 ]& b& p% @From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
' }  b3 X( b2 B" R2 G2 |  T' cNourished with my soul
' n7 F. k% y( v  L1 S) J! `9 W* aDevoured my so ...

眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

写得真好。
+ `+ c1 @& o8 E* u& d2 e
) `! c( d/ D: _: a加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
$ _7 B+ M7 }- q0 H; a  A眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
; d! W. b: H# C$ p4 ?加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
4 }3 X: R7 i5 @' ]如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
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4 a! [! o* F8 r& iSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
* [$ v2 ~* V9 N0 A$ T% \Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
% c. `! K1 w# y% _) g  j
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

/ g2 C8 r2 R4 T4 V3 O- b
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

; Y9 _8 f: U# x# m: m) X2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
" a4 V9 @8 d3 D% Rthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

* W6 W) p) [4 Y: B6 ~
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
6 h7 Z5 S" v0 X  k9 H$ P) J& Fthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

有啊，有很多经典的例子。
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  k3 ^" }6 @7 j9 P0 i2 e比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
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Don't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
  v- J* T5 c( A+ S6 e  BI've a date with a butterfly
  Q$ f  P+ p8 Z6 I1 M/ R7 tTo dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
1 t( u0 L, e  D2 }4 q% ESniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

- i, E) C4 ^3 S% HDon't be sad
8 k9 k( V1 |. l8 g6 u- H# ?When you remember me,
7 {( u# e3 v. SFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
) j! ^3 r" A+ N: @) J: t* ~Wild and free,
* ]1 ~$ s. E1 z$ S( a! zFlirting with the lighting,
; a; d. ]# c- R$ V' P: GPlaying tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
( H& z/ q: L4 l. e) y3 I" jTime and again,
1 ?' G, t4 w% m9 \) h" h5 `Soaring with the eagle,
' J8 Y* r8 c* b& B5 H. }Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
* y  u  K: G% G- cWhile I'm waiting for thee.