In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
5 j  M; d/ d* r' g4 LThrough darkness to light
. b: s( K) K0 v* qNourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee
) I% Y7 r  O' E$ \7 Y7 q. g
7 F* {! k8 Y2 ?0 v+ JIn the memory of my life
You planted a dream
3 P( ]! ^( K2 s$ v4 N6 I9 o, VShould the sky fall down on me
$ K% ]" J  y# k  F# K" R8 m+ Q, {May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
1 `- g7 |! D& M2 [& `# A  LBursting the love out of me
8 H% ]% [+ ], U
; V* V2 Y% @! C' {1 w[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
. r- D# N' k) {% D: Y听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
( Y( e' ]' y) K' x5 [/ K" g
& ?. i# p- V- e8 k8 [' gIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
/ i9 J$ O' A  T4 HFrom sunset til dawn
& m5 |1 L4 }3 R; d( M6 c. D" bThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
! p5 D' q" N  D" e; B' GDevoured my so ...

  I9 q: O7 q* V# @9 T眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
) Q" Z; n; X2 x( l; C. f" j) {
4 i5 C0 s/ e! S9 G/ F! ~) d写得真好。
  e- ^( k8 W; K$ ~9 ~/ l
6 x4 q( w$ B0 n* N) ?) {加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
, g' k7 x  S6 U) c眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
加精加精！

1 A* G( b/ k- n2 j4 S: @我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
# r' R1 F2 g% K  V
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
$ V+ L; Z8 Y% [/ `* r4 Y( ?Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
# c) N" T% Y5 r+ r9 U
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
) m# n2 ^% U$ a  N  h8 `. \( E
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
% n3 N  R3 }/ J/ ]
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
2 D: w# I* k! m* I- Q8 l
- W3 t$ j# j- T3 W3 iShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

3 _" O+ E" K9 L; f- J诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

8 i: m9 _3 [4 BShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

# @' `6 W! ~! E& z. D7 z有啊，有很多经典的例子。
# a/ ?/ w' x- h1 P* K% A0 |
比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
( R2 X/ d7 a% U* x/ R) V6 I
Don't weep at my grave
+ [4 L. i9 h1 T! f0 y1 iFor I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
  _0 @) z+ H- x* C+ ?' hI'll be there too,
: e1 N' W3 |/ f7 `4 ^Sniffing it's fragrance
% t$ E5 D8 X: z  Y; s& tRight next to you.

Don't be sad
, @8 [3 ]/ c0 t, xWhen you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
( ]& c/ x2 J& g/ W1 \$ U5 I. UFlirting with the lighting,
" S: [/ h7 G/ b5 VPlaying tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
& h! m6 u2 R( w! tTime and again,
( A9 T, o2 L2 W' _0 CSoaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
9 u, u! t2 i8 x6 z. pEnjoying all of nature
" X! F5 Z9 ?" X8 X' l0 Y( D1 NWhile I'm waiting for thee.