 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: D1 [8 n* T+ MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa) [) J6 F5 \) O+ t/ e2 C7 z1 X* p3 U
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! R6 r4 V# D/ t0 p A2 V# {JOB DESCRIPTION:! q% u$ Z1 r0 D% n1 Q$ _
Long term, team players needed for challenging,( [9 d9 L+ v3 z: O9 V' P8 s
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 m* }* A0 s+ Y2 {+ `! G6 C- \Candidates must possess excellent communication
* B7 e) d* c; h2 {; H6 qand organizational skills and be willing to work
" }9 M: n/ u9 |0 D6 y' ^variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- m- x2 V S! W. E* Qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 2 V8 D7 p" ?8 V( P3 Y% ~8 m
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 f% W) X7 @ f: m, c/ L1 x+ O- iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ ~! l# o, u1 J U' {endless sports tournaments in far away cities! / n: C4 n1 U2 Q x# Z
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- v" }& R9 R5 ?# o" V8 ^Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:* u' p3 _6 R1 w0 g
The rest of your life.
" X U L& N, LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, + F6 x. V$ G4 @6 E# Z: L n
until someone needs $5.
0 Z% h `6 L; z% L q7 _Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 8 Z0 V" f% a% m R% O1 m
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( L1 o' ?* ^/ u, Rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% I7 ]# _9 p$ L# d* j; Tin case, this time, the screams from , Y( X) `4 Q0 l) M" B, s
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 N4 r5 z8 g+ {& s% p1 l% S! N6 QMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* v9 ^& ]6 M v' ?- n1 A, Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets . Y! P- H/ M+ m% L, a+ X
and stuck zippers.
% y# V& A3 j1 ^3 [( SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 6 T9 a: r8 }1 s f$ i5 S# \- o
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 v# B. W) Q6 x+ H. S; X/ PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( K9 y$ \5 H0 a# J$ c6 n \6 AMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& `2 F* \7 N K Xan embarrassment the next.
1 p+ h6 V/ N! OMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a ) P: Q0 S3 e+ P% u
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 l" {( f3 a! ] E; A$ l M/ wMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* I' |% C8 g$ O1 K5 PMust assume final, complete accountability for + I" D: E. }: p! J
the quality of the end product.
$ Y5 {! c9 E g. {0 \Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 c& w1 l" S/ n, w% O g( g4 C1 k; wjanitorial work throughout the facility. ! S' {' k- C8 m* h! ~* J
! W" Y( v, x! S7 y0 QPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 |# `7 | ?7 C! TNone.
: v1 J; @1 ?! b- m( j! `% bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: H) P, L* _9 uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
' A" }8 \& b' _- F& p% g4 ?. cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 Y- B/ v4 I9 [. s$ gcan ultimately surpass you.+ W9 K$ P5 c: R/ D6 q% H( C
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: - H+ _( A1 ^$ L0 r9 m# a
None required, unfortunately.
3 G! W, e4 }5 Z3 p8 kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. * A/ m# {+ \6 F% D5 A
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: . r9 h: O- ~# O" U9 o" ~
Get this! You pay them!
U6 m( p0 m7 v* {Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ! Q! F ^3 z+ W3 j5 E/ L
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because , i' ?( j6 M) b4 E4 W* P A+ I) m# U
of the assumption that college will help them
9 W g; O5 A, n! ~. q! ]# ~( C$ Lbecome financially independent.
+ N# l' Z% i/ U" t1 E% o9 }+ O9 j7 NWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. - P5 N, z. |! k% H
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" C9 M0 i' z& {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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4 B! Z( ?4 l9 n- `BENEFITS: % b. _1 j1 @" u. w0 C- d2 y
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ c' E2 \" c2 i- A9 M/ dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and : B* D1 v( J/ f1 L% S2 s6 U
no stock options are offered,4 A% `7 L( z* o* {# w
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 7 e, E9 C' b: W$ l5 A+ b8 a
8 `& D2 w' C( |6 H9 n. u6 junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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, ]9 e. O( L" L8 F4 h$ P3 j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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9 Z2 t! A5 m1 q. S5 r3 X9 I5 hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% s+ P; S* R$ v# }6 q+ f* d' kletting them know they are appreciated 3 }+ S6 B) f: ], i
for the fabulous job they do...
+ c* i- T7 X3 f) v) S1 V" A: zor forward with love " c: n( i3 w4 k$ p' q& a( O
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.; |5 ~7 F ^( h3 u) B4 H; t
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
