 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
POSITION:
* n: N" Q( t% g& `. ?Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 9 f; r3 |4 ?" X7 ^# _" m
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa) i9 q" N% u" }6 R! t7 u4 ~. g2 u
: M" e4 k$ l5 K# j @! t6 ?; j% T4 a1 X- B) {# @$ Z
JOB DESCRIPTION:
! G! O' G8 d% L/ w1 i" A# r& lLong term, team players needed for challenging,# W" ~- S! R0 ]
8 Z# k: _( ~- g2 V5 M
permanent work in an often chaotic environment. * S# f* `3 W# g- P" r
Candidates must possess excellent communication 7 w$ S$ C+ X% ^. i! F' t. P! u, e
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 z" Y: x1 ~# Ivariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 6 d" \) ^8 v; P: ?6 W8 G! k
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ( ^: I' W) Y# N+ Z$ f6 G3 C
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 1 K/ T, E1 c, @$ f1 Y
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* X/ z, h% L( s; sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 f- Y# ~% y2 N# QTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 N. x! O- X& }, @% V0 sExtensive courier duties also required.
$ x7 w) T" V9 Q/ ~* \
f; i. V% ^" x% SRESPONSIBILITIES:8 O( j; E& _3 w) H. u
The rest of your life. . u3 Q/ S3 ~) M7 X3 ]7 K; o
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 4 E& `/ M( c! u& r7 j7 w5 }
until someone needs $5. + d" m# }8 O+ N3 F
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. % w3 {5 ~3 c( v! B* e2 T
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) i" O. @0 N2 t" aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat . O' p/ t2 j$ P+ H; d7 J% ^
in case, this time, the screams from ; c/ r" N! Z: G J. Z
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! y" V8 F0 n5 y2 [: z" lMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, % `! T" [1 I- V% u7 m1 c* J6 M
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 0 o2 H" p* ~$ C# U( x& k' G
and stuck zippers. C- S4 H, `4 f. W4 R/ v4 M& w
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 N8 |# M# F {9 B5 b+ l% Kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 2 _& K) @) u+ V5 k7 e r& H! t
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 x6 O* L( ]2 O# R0 Z# K$ F4 zMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 0 k2 c3 W* C9 s0 }' a) u0 Z1 k
an embarrassment the next.
, U4 ]. v4 k( ~! m; q0 e. s# ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a V. n' x( r9 R# {, ~
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 7 w& ?' n8 l* z, `
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 2 A+ _. X3 L0 S) h2 {# S- z
Must assume final, complete accountability for # ]% \% @0 Z0 O1 S! d" A5 u& F% Y4 A, i
the quality of the end product.
: v% U2 ^$ S: WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and # Q7 A* o9 G8 j( j
janitorial work throughout the facility. ! P) o {. Y( ~ Y& y
0 ?# @: s2 \' C) `5 U
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:6 k( h. [0 i% K3 E. n2 |
None.
2 e4 w- T! ~) p+ ?Your job is to remain in the same position for years, , m* k7 z: }! z2 y" y
without complaining,constantly retraining and / q- S' k: r; O$ H
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 3 K7 g1 j+ X5 y! C/ [
can ultimately surpass you.! h# X3 B7 ]+ A8 W, b
, q/ a3 h1 ]* C( D0 ~9 k
) k" S/ n- g. y+ {6 `- w) t; E
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ' F+ [3 q$ c, d) p8 E% J
None required, unfortunately. 4 ?1 N- a% F5 x
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. " [1 x! R- f# C) H Y7 ?3 o0 G' _( Z
5 g! ^: w5 V/ D# a5 W" f+ T8 j% q
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 e8 Z0 d; l% G n; A. t! zGet this! You pay them!
& C' e- n3 r9 \7 VOffering frequent raises and bonuses. & c( q6 r# i" E9 m# u! u" d
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ E( `5 d. O+ m$ G3 L" r9 W4 sof the assumption that college will help them 4 t. ~) G1 V N$ ]$ {
become financially independent.
0 b6 A: H8 q6 m" I! e5 A5 zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. $ S5 m+ k$ S- X/ ]2 k! H
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 D# b. n" h% n5 v5 @1 kyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
) `3 e/ l* b$ J6 o0 r- S# V2 V
! }5 t9 X8 R: { ?4 F7 ?0 {BENEFITS:
+ `2 f" n2 y# C) @( ~While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, + u6 W; ]3 x9 ^& d* x
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ! g% r( I* U! L& {
no stock options are offered,
# e6 C, b1 m# O4 Othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
' i1 I- Y; ~0 ]4 s% |, Y8 k
0 N$ I5 a1 F- Q3 v2 U7 j" I. Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
: C- l( m! W1 C
+ J0 u3 a8 B: A3 xfor life if you play your cards right.
: U+ @9 W8 `: i& P' k" M3 B* p3 {
- Y1 I. q* \: }- F0 b; `4 v
- c" E( O. Q$ P2 K2 t/ K9 k 5 p. e! H# u" l7 o- g1 V' Z5 _
# A. ?. v8 O5 j% j9 R I
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
8 F- \' B! d& s9 Y$ }; N0 Y
$ L$ X) ^2 D6 O ; M6 S9 ^; g* R4 t
* @* W9 v! P8 {, p. L0 g" d6 Q# VForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" q7 j! L; ^9 [9 N& Tletting them know they are appreciated
# Y9 s( ~ R1 W ~4 _! hfor the fabulous job they do... ! T) C: C7 _- O; m" W
or forward with love
( l( V$ z# c9 r+ ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.; v0 J1 m' M. o0 S& ~) a
: x2 D3 Z; z& u6 j+ d( _- N' V; Z1 l
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
