Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: k' k8 Y7 g3 y0 N) m! oMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
# ?9 ?- Q: i4 m  D% T# u0 o! k0 {

JOB DESCRIPTION:
4 Q' b: H, Z5 U. V* vLong term, team players needed for challenging,
4 R$ ^0 M3 s* ~( K4 _3 K* k  c( a0 J
$ Y+ u2 b+ y9 [$ `8 Kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* y6 v( R8 y7 {& k9 D5 vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! x; s3 G/ K, U3 R* u" oSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 c" v0 K) I( [, g: r* M2 f- Zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# d4 Z( h& s; T  m2 KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
4 Y# F% j! y; aExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 z/ f: g8 C$ @% s( M7 `. [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 k+ u7 w) U. i/ i& @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
" Z! A7 G0 a3 q5 Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; b; r1 F+ s" K- D' H# XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* \4 d9 J" f* R8 Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! P- {$ z4 i1 B  _6 m( I" J5 hMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& y; p3 t. _/ [# G) ?0 jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 s, h' O& ]( @0 Y% i# DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 g/ L/ Q9 Z  S: C* g% g9 Z. _an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! |& B; C4 Q$ T' u$ r. _half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ K; r) e' H9 D: j9 `Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ n2 q  K4 J2 b  ?6 h  E  Yjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ A. T! D- V# t! t3 h0 ~8 t$ RPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, g- D: s( F. E. v! Z3 F, }) q2 zNone.
, {# D7 R8 E( M4 a, XYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
' `0 G/ |4 `: F3 X& I' dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. @( E/ ~, b5 m0 K2 z+ v" t- Lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
; `0 @; y. U. p3 n3 f* w) Jcan ultimately surpass you.
6 P/ x. U( B. H: X

( @7 K6 z: N; A* [6 p; }8 r+ iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' Y7 \3 s& H( q3 s- Q5 XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 U3 E8 m1 |9 ?Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 g$ Y( S* C  M4 C* Oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ z$ R7 w* K: h" D$ @of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 Q/ [/ J6 }9 @) DThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
% C& Z1 d5 u1 C* Pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

' |: I0 g. w8 v' _3 \unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( d  I# d* F2 Z' K4 j" {
" X/ O- n% V' O: o& d* R# y& Yfor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



& S" K4 k, q# _/ H" I) oForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
6 m* Z* \  _7 B5 ?or forward with love
# b8 L% |, Y1 W" k& Y6 e: Oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

7 ^3 m& n$ f6 \# E+ q/ Z0 |  a3 k/ e

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.