Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  W* [5 q! i) Y7 `: UMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ j# `" Z. y/ {! @Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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3 @, Y6 s: ~9 }2 sJOB DESCRIPTION:
8 r$ o" V6 n' v& ^2 R7 QLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 w; p9 V, I  @. U7 }, ^# YCandidates must possess excellent communication
. M" G/ \# r* cand organizational skills and be willing to work
$ |: M& b( n' N* c! Z& r2 Ivariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; ]# I3 b) B4 H! _* `7 f# HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) O4 j' s3 _+ W: uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 k4 E, l0 y  F' ]. J( J0 n8 CTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ `  G; O) U! C, \The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. ^. ~( s8 R' \) `& Z- xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 J% }6 c2 w( ]8 a; k4 [0 C3 v+ ?such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  b5 }1 ]6 ]1 I7 D+ q' wand stuck zippers.
% S! q6 c& n% ?( D2 }Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, Y9 O+ i3 Z2 d% F+ V# h. uMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* ?: P0 i3 d3 p" |Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 `# F. N0 T$ f: V: jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. x& _* F! y$ KMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( t4 x- V6 u$ a  C/ f9 r% cthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

$ j; a7 X# t8 d4 K+ D7 dPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
' {' z/ h: i# h0 t, _: J+ |updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


% u" O( J! u" I5 y2 J# O' f* N( mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 I2 q5 ^. R) N# Z; rNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

/ B# H1 Y! B0 z/ F+ ^* M) LWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( W8 K' j$ g8 o: m( R1 SGet this! You pay them!
( {2 x0 n3 U5 j2 j" POffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; V6 E; e! p+ H) i5 d/ Hof the assumption that college will help them
* e- [7 X, K( X: I: Ebecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 s9 X3 O' J! v- \/ ?- cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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4 Q; U$ B# `- I- oBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

! g: m$ k" T6 m- B2 x# ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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& B8 Q5 F4 @" [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 J$ v4 P- Z5 O2 k; Z: Xletting them know they are appreciated
2 m, ?. y( ^  x0 d/ tfor the fabulous job they do...
' M' b3 I4 g+ B6 `7 m: E/ C/ {or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.