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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush7 z7 N) H9 s( C& _1 P! z9 x7 i
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
* |6 X( u2 @3 y7 U' ?6 zmorning.
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, @3 x* \: Z6 R- m1 ~/ Q; w; Q( P3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
& `7 _8 G+ y' {2 Nyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
7 N9 \4 i# ^7 L' |landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.( ~" U( T" k: `! N3 A
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, v+ R8 x5 A" l* k- X7 c3 zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- B1 R7 B f$ S4 `9 N: e( ~muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ k+ {3 Z6 i' Ugo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
}7 f8 I% A5 P' s5 y6 Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) d7 f @+ n+ J9 i& H5 f+ @
- z) F# k! b! ]5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& c! g) I( c5 ~- ?! F
cussed out, and possibly shot.9 m- {5 S0 Z5 g0 d* j
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can9 ?3 ^2 r! `( Z
get you shot." R& |3 J0 m2 F' ]
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that C: ]7 w/ ~9 c) U
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
3 [1 j5 Z% x3 |the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot' Y' S% }# ?. `- b
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first% v$ |3 u7 Q( t0 n
vehicle through the intersection.
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! e! ~% d! h7 E8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
; Z! s- |" j* D: Gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! Q3 U2 e" R2 [3 B* d) A; Rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ c$ e# `/ f, O" V9 a9 `" k4 [more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
6 g6 L5 ^ E" O0 ?# W+ vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ j/ A% v. c. s# s: o, _4 Usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same4 O! {& t j1 k- W o$ j
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
V5 ~ S8 N9 v) u- k0 u* w6 kRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
" u- ]; |2 a3 K66 Street are also the same road; got it?& a( u# A* s& O" k
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' y% P$ r# W# |3 f
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally( s( s9 E2 q# m) ^: ~
Activated.'
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0 @" B* I$ h- r2 |12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
8 L+ F! E' B/ ]you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
4 B# L+ | V& |5 L9 J) }! G5 I2 paccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., m+ A7 b9 ^7 V$ W# U$ J
- _# k1 ~/ t2 y. A13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 e# U) p, I* ]7 ]& L5 B8 ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. j, Z9 b7 j7 P; O& x
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
